jealous?

How can I deal with my jealousy??--this has been my problem since pepe and i got together.. and until now, i'm having a hard time getting over it..

i get jealous or suspicious from time to time, but experiencing jealousy on a daily basis is problematic.yeah.whew. When jealousy strikes, i often compare myself to my "imaginary" rival, then i will feel threatened, and sometimes i imagine the worse case scenario - that he might leave me for someone else...crazy as it seems but it's true.. arghhh..i know that not only is jealousy unpleasant to experience, but sometimes i am, who are chronically jealous or suspicious, often misinterpret what is going on - taking what might be an innocent event and thinking about it in the worst way possible.For example, my boyfriend does not immediately respond to my text message or return a phone call,i become a highly jealous individual and would usually will jump to a negative conclusion (like he doesn't love me or he is cheating).i know that jumping to such conclusions can drive me crazy and it often fuels my suspicion more..but what can i do, i just can't help it..my negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities often lead to more negative thoughts, doubts, and insecurities.i believe that not only do i drive myself crazy, i often drive him crazy as well. he might think that being around a suspicious person like me is difficult to deal with because no one likes to have everything that happens turned into a negative event...hayyy... i know i should learn how to deal with my jealousy to maintain a healthy relationship with him. Typically, the best way to deal with jealousy or suspicion is to talk to him about the issue. When i am suspicious or jealous, i often try to hide my true feelings from him, but ignoring my emotions hardly ever works. when he asks me what's going on with me, i was like "wala!", with a glare expression.So when i do experience jealousy, if i do not talk about it, it comes out through sudden mood changes, acting overly controlling, being overly sensitive and needy, causing unnecessary arguments and fights, pointing out a romantic rival's every flaw, attacking him ("why did you do that?"), and so on...haha...funny but it's true.On the other hand, pepe told me that talking to him about being jealous is the best way of dealing with it . As a general rule, when talking about jealousy, it helps to focus on my feelings and not necessarily to my partner's behavior---according to my friend's advice.:) In other words, pepe claimed that i should not blame or attack him because i feel jealous - rather explain how i feel ("hindi ko gusto ang pakiramdam pag nagseselos ako..."). ---that's the one he wanted to hear from me.

epep: "eh bakit di mo sinabi saken para alam ko?? kung di ko pa nakita, di mo sasabihin.."
pepe: "sasabihin ko dapat sa'yo,.kaso nawalan ng pagkakataon na sabihin ko sa'yo.."

hmmmm... suspicion is often fueled by a lack of information. REMEMBER THAT!

don't get me wrong..pepe and i were not on the verge of quarrel or something right now..it just happened from the previous time and i would not want to let it happen again (though i'm such a jealous jerk..hehe) and i also believed that it may happen again soon and i'm hoping that we can resolve it with both of us empty-handed. i wrote this post for the very reason that i want to remind myself (and remind you too) that i should give more importance on dealing with a real problem rather than spending my time worrying about what might be...

i'm so much happy with my life with him at the moment.. and i don't want to ruin this wonderful thing that i've got for such paranoia... :)